What Do You Do?

It is one of the first questions we ask a person we meet for the first time. Someone about whom we know absolutely nothing, except possibly the fact that we both know the person who has just introduced us. Of all the information about which we should be curious, we want to know what they do. Sort of like, if your house was on fire, what one thing would you grab to take out?

Why is this? Discrimination. Legal, of course. We are taking a piece of information and building a picture of who that person is.

The other day while listening to the Kim Komando computer show a caller was asked what she did. Her reply was that she was a movie star. Kim asked, "Really?" The caller answered, "No, but when I give that answer people find me so much more interesting."

Discrimination has been given a bad rap because of how people are treated as a result of the picture the discriminator develops. It's conclusions are used as a basis for unwarranted actions irrespectve of individual differences.

It is often bad, but it can be a help as well. It can raise our antanae to see things of which we would have otherwise been aware. Realizing someone looks hispanic might make a person more sensitive to language barriers or other possible cultural sensitivities.

But back to the original question, "What do you do?" What tends to happen when the response we hear is "movie star" or "I work at the QuickMart." I'm thinking it is easy to build a picture that defines the value of the person that does not enlighten us to the individual. In his book The Godfather Papers, Mario Puzo speaks with some disdain about how his mom's ambition for his life was to be a ticket taker for the railroad. His implied conclusion is that the world is better for the fact that he became a writer instead.

Is this the best way to gather information about a person? What if instead we asked "What are you like?" or "what interests do you have?" OK, it might take some courage to try this. Maybe it would be a bit to close for comfort to someone who doesn't know you and doesn't yet know if they want you to know much about them. But answers might be more representative of the person.

I think I'll try it. I'll let you know if I become enlightened or are punched in the nose. If they hit me, at least I'll know they are not Amish.