Google as a Memory Enhancer

I never cease to be amazed at what I can find by googling (or yahooing, or binging, or whatever your religion is.) It almost seems like I don't have to even type the words - it reads my mind.

I was thinking about a guy I used to deliver papers to when I was in elementary school. The wrestling promoter for the State of Hawaii, Ed Francis. (His son Russ Francis played for the New England Patriots. One of my claims to fame - Richard Piefer and I played some basketball with him and his brother one day. OK, I was about 11 and he was definitely in high school at the time and whooped our butts. Or as I like to think of it, we built his confidence enabling him to have a successful NFL career.)

I looked him up on google and found out much more than I ever knew about the whole wrestling scene in Hawaii in the 60's. And found names I hadn't heard in a long time. Curtis "The Bull" Iaukea, Lord Blears, the Masked Executioner. I can still feel the thud through the television as I secretly (parents didn't approve) watched "50th State Wrestling" - the highest rated television show in the state at the time. Then at school the next week we guys would steal around to the front of the church where we were blocked from view and we would try out all the moves. I don't think we broke anything.

I haven't thought of that for a long, loonng, looonnnnggg time. I have no interest now in wrestling. But it was sure an attention-getter to an 12 year old.

It makes me think about this thing called "memory" and how it functions. So much lies dormant for so long. Then with a few promptings a flood of thoughts, sights, smells, tastes, and sounds comes back. Almost like it was yesterday (more yesterdays for some of us.)

I guess nothing ever leaves us completely - it just gets harder to find in there. But the sense of fun that seems to come back when I look at pictures from long ago or find some serendipity on the internet reminds me: Today is tomorrow's memory. Make it a memory you will smile about. Make it a memory worth googling in 40 years. Find ways to file it away for later retrieval - pictures, recordings, diaries, blogs.

When you have more years behind you than you have ahead of you, you begin to realize the value of a life full of memories worth remembering. Less "stuff." More memories.

New Year's Revolutions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXlkqkFH6s

A few weeks ago I found and watched Coach Jim Valvano's speech at the ESPY Awards in 1993. I'd never seen it before. Kind of like "The Final Lecture" only shorter so those of us with "Wikipedia as History Lesson" attention spans could finish and remember it.

Three things you must do every day. You must laugh. You must cry. You must think. I'll find things to laugh and cry about. No problem.

It is the thinking that will take conscious effort. It hurts sometimes. I'm not used to it.

So one of my New Years Revolutions is to think every day. Spend some time in serious thought. Travel down a single path for a while.

New Years Revolutions? Yes. Resolutions don't seem to hold real well. Maybe if I decide how I want to revolutionize my life I'll keep a better vision of where I want to be and stick with it. Yes, diet and exercise are on there somewhere. Again.

Happiness

If you want to be great, raise your expectations

If you want to be happy, lower your expectations

Lois, Come Home

It's been two weeks. Seems like about ½ a year. Many insects don't even live that long.  But time really drags.

So much happens in that span of time. Just not to me. Or maybe what is happening just pales in comparison to what isn't happening. No soft, understanding touch. No sitting and watching her work on something, become frustrated and scrunch up her face or experience success and beam.

She left me. Again. This time for a younger man. Actually, two other men – a younger man and a really younger man. And a lady. For the last two weeks she has spent her time going shopping, going out to eat, going to the park, pushing around toy trucks and cars on the floor, watching videos called Dora and Wiggles, playing golf (in the house,) and making a variety of food stuff. Pretty much what she did when she left me last time for two really younger men, a young lady, and a not quite as young (but still younger) lady and man.

My heart is thankful she can and does take the time to build the memories that are being created. It perpetuates what I know of the Browns, both past an current. And it will perpetuate itself in various ways with the Browns' and Fernandes' of the future.

But it is now time to put my heart back together again. As Monday draws closer, I become more anxious. I know she'll remember me. (It hasn't really been THAT long.) I hope she remembers how I like to hold her close. And walk holding her hand. And watch her smile.

Until then, I'll have MY memories.

An Old Friend

I ran into an old friend a couple of months ago.  It wasn't really by accident.  I had been looking for something that was missing. I knew it had been there at a time in the past but had not been around for a while.  Did I mention it was an invisible friend? 

We were close during my teen years.  My friend helped me sort things out, become aware of the world around me, made me slow down enough to recognize priorities.  After running several miles on the beach my friend would persuade me to sit and watch the waves for an hour.  I could be transfixed by the persistence of the water coming back to the shore time and time again.  And the colors!  My friend would encourage me to take the long way home so I could drive through the overhanging forests of the Old Pali Road.  Slowly.  That helped me see the calming effect of beauty.  And what is another 10 minutes?  We would sit at the end of the runway and watch 747's take off over me.  How do they do that?  They were huge but graceful.

But as with too many people I know, I outgrew my friend.  Serious school, a job, family, all worked on my mind to crowd out my friend.  I didn't have time.  Priorities changed to meet expectations - other people's, not mine.  I saw how much a waste of time my friend was.  I compressed activity to meet goals quicker.  Accomplish... be efficient... busy. The pressure to be "there" grew.  No time.

Running into Solitude recently was a such a surprise.  I had forgotten them altogether.  

Living Life On Purpose

It is easy to be trapped into thinking we are victims. We can't help it. Someone made me. I had to. For me it is sometimes just because it is there (as in food.)

There are long lists of good things to do. And because they are good, I should do them. Someone wants me to take out trash or take them somewhere so I "should."  I "need" get up and go to work in the morning even though I was up late last night.  I "have" to go to the store (may seem a bit of a stretch here but just the use of the word is a downer.) The negative applies as well.  Things I shouldn't do or have to stop doing (there are those donuts again.)


I think the problem is often semantics.  "Have to" and "should" and "need" are not really the proper things to say.  I don't really think I'm not in control of the decision, but the subliminal message is "I don't have a choice."  That sets attitude which leads to a martyr complex.  Then even good things are a burden.


"The Lord loves a cheerful giver."  There must be a reason why God has chosen not to exact gifts, obedience, and worship.  Choice will be the reason much of His creation will not be with Him for eternity as He has indicated He would like. 

I value results when I feel I had a hand in delivering them.  On the other hand, when I feel coerced or prodded solely by guilt or shame, I can't really feel pleased even when the correct result is obtained.  It wasn't my choice.

Instead I am finding a lot of peace in the idea of choosing what I will do with my life.  I have started changing my self talk and being more aware of my speech.  I now choose to do or not do things.  That doesn't mean I always WANT to do what I choose to do.  But now when I choose to do something I didn't WANT to do, I have taken ownership.  It was, in the end, my choice.  And I'm better with that.

Out of the mouth the heart speaks.  Words do have meaning.  I much rather Live Life on Purpose.

May Every Day

And so we move toward the autumn of our time together.
Spring came unexpectedly with promise of the blossoms of a new life.
Summer ripened, filled with growing fruit.

We watch together as turning leaves are memories of the new, the full, and now maturity.

I don't fear the autumn. There is the harvest ahead. All that went into our lives is now coming together.

But it isn't over. In the spring we didn't know beyond our dreams what the summer would bring.

With autumn approaching, I think back remembering the joy and pleasure you have brought me. And I look forward. Because when I'm with you, I have dreams of what will be around the corner. When I'm with you, it is May Every Day.