The Gift

Today I was given a special gift. It started yesterday. I received a transferred call from another department who wanted me to help the caller. A lady had a friend (60 years old) who she felt needed to be seen by a doctor but he didn't want to come since he did not have any money. His legs were swollen, his toes were blue, his legs were in constant pain, he was having difficulty breathing, and he just didn't care if he lived or died. His father didn't know what to do with him. My thought was to transfer to another department so they could help them find a doctor. But then she said the magic words. "I just don't think God would want him to be like this." As much as I think about Jesus's words and "the least of these my brethren," I don't seem to do much. This was, like, plopped in my lap.

At the hospital we have a financial assistance program which is income based. The Sisters want us to collect from those who can pay and to give services to those who can't pay. I shared that option with her. While I was very busy, part of my job is to take care of this. So I listened and tried to get her to understand I could not make her friend come to the hospital. But if he did come, my staff would make sure he had information on how to help him pay the bill.

An hour later I had visitors. The friend and his father had come in and had my name and number. Great. What can I do about this? They were very confused about what to do. I had mixed feelings as I had to get back to work, but I couldn't pass it off. "I don't think God would want him to be like this." So I had to change my attitude. And it really was part of my job.

I found a wheelchair for the son and pushed him sloooowwwwly (father was very slow in walking, but at least he could walk) down to the emergency room. "Alex will help you see a doctor and give you some information to fill out for financial assistance. You have my number so feel free to call me if you need something."

Now to today. The Gift. As I walked through the halls I saw the father coming out of the elevator. I walked up to him and asked how his son was doing. He teared up. He said he is doing very well now. He grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye and said "Thank you. The doctor said if we had not come up here within a day or so he would have died." It turns out they gave the son medication that got 16 pounds of fluid out of his body. He could now move around easily. The father held on to me halfway down the hall.

I was stunned. I know my work is important. Or they wouldn't pay me to be here. I know I help the hospital collect the money due it which keeps the staff paid. But I've always wanted to feel that personal success. Now here it was. I may have actually saved a life without going to medical school.

The Gift was for me. I now want to see one success translate to more.

Update

Yesterday I received a voicemail from the friend. She was thankful that there was an organization like us in our city that "didn't feel too proud to help someone in need." She felt we were angels and wanted permission to use my name when she writes to President Obama. Well, I just feel very pleased to have been in the right place at the right time and was prompted to do the right thing.

What Do You Do?

It is one of the first questions we ask a person we meet for the first time. Someone about whom we know absolutely nothing, except possibly the fact that we both know the person who has just introduced us. Of all the information about which we should be curious, we want to know what they do. Sort of like, if your house was on fire, what one thing would you grab to take out?

Why is this? Discrimination. Legal, of course. We are taking a piece of information and building a picture of who that person is.

The other day while listening to the Kim Komando computer show a caller was asked what she did. Her reply was that she was a movie star. Kim asked, "Really?" The caller answered, "No, but when I give that answer people find me so much more interesting."

Discrimination has been given a bad rap because of how people are treated as a result of the picture the discriminator develops. It's conclusions are used as a basis for unwarranted actions irrespectve of individual differences.

It is often bad, but it can be a help as well. It can raise our antanae to see things of which we would have otherwise been aware. Realizing someone looks hispanic might make a person more sensitive to language barriers or other possible cultural sensitivities.

But back to the original question, "What do you do?" What tends to happen when the response we hear is "movie star" or "I work at the QuickMart." I'm thinking it is easy to build a picture that defines the value of the person that does not enlighten us to the individual. In his book The Godfather Papers, Mario Puzo speaks with some disdain about how his mom's ambition for his life was to be a ticket taker for the railroad. His implied conclusion is that the world is better for the fact that he became a writer instead.

Is this the best way to gather information about a person? What if instead we asked "What are you like?" or "what interests do you have?" OK, it might take some courage to try this. Maybe it would be a bit to close for comfort to someone who doesn't know you and doesn't yet know if they want you to know much about them. But answers might be more representative of the person.

I think I'll try it. I'll let you know if I become enlightened or are punched in the nose. If they hit me, at least I'll know they are not Amish.

Religion's Sad Legacy and Ultimate Recovery

The institutionalization of Christianity has brought many positive outcomes. The directive to "not forsake the gathering together" provides opportunity to share experiences and grow in a knowledge of God. The "strength in numbers" has built organizations that can accomplish more for humanity than individuals alone.

But in large part I see organized religion as having failed God's request to be His witnesses - to show what God is really like. Jesus's mission was to do just that and show us the Father so we could do that also.

The Church very early on lost sight of that mission and instead spent their energies establishing their organizations and differentiating themselves from others who did not see things their way. This was seen in the early Christian church with it's searches for heretics, in its interactions (read that "Crusades") with those who did not believe in Yahweh but in some other version such as Islam, and later in their intolerance of dissenting ideas as seen during the reformation (Catholic and Protestant) and continuing until the present. This intolerance has led not only to wars and death but to cruelty all in the name of God. The actions of the past continue the divisions of today. While they may not be as physically barbaric today, they continue the cruelty. Lives and reputations are crushed. The very people who need to come closer to God find themselves marginalized and pushed out of the circle.

I'm having trouble reading Jesus's words into so much of what I see being said and done in the name of religion. Would He speak such hateful things against the disadvantaged and displaced as I hear coming from the mouths of His nominal leaders today?

"Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more" accomplishes both rebuke of the act which was demeaning and affirmation of the individual. Prodigal sons are always welcome and bitter older brothers are allowed their gripes. Lost sheep are sought. The banquets are open to those with no place to go. The only harsh attitude was against those who said they were doing God's will but were not - the hypocrites and doubleminded - those who hid God's character from people.

For my life, I have to find a better guide. The church will support my growth rather than me support it's growth. The need isn't for better defense of the "pillars of truth." It is for those who see God's desire to be understood and accept their responsibility to share His character. People who will be thought of by others as poor in spirit, who mourn, who are meek, who hunger and thirst for righeousness, who are merciful, who are pure in heart, who are peacemakers, and who are perceived as persecuted because they are righteous. Paul shares more fruits of the Spirit that expand on these.

My belief is that Jesus's purpose was to be my example as He showed me God's character. His life lived out these values he shared. I need to 1. understand them right, 2. incorporate them into my life, and 3. make them habits - done without thinking. Will one person make a difference? If nothing else, the meditation on these values will make a difference in this one person.

This will be my journey to spiritual contentment.

CREDO

Not exactly sure this classifies as a CREDO, but it meets my need. I'm working on some introspection --- putting down in writing a path to my future.

Clarification - Clarifying my beliefs and values.

Congruence - Bringing my actions into alignment with my beliefs and values. Executing the actions I determined necessary to be congruent.. Doing what I said I would do.

Consistency - Repeatly. Habitual execution. Routine.

These phases are vertical - sequential. Even the substeps are sequential. One builds on the other. Beliefs spawn values. Values bring expectations of outcomes. These must be clear before one can line up competing events and attitudes into a congruent life. Repetition brings habit. Habit is now who you are.

These phases are also horizonal. New information can be received at any phase requirin change in others. While one would like at least beliefs to remain unchanged, they don't. Or we would still have a flat earth. Changes in one place trickle down to others.

Herein lies contentment.

Suicide is Painless - The Postmodernist Answer

I haven't really understood what the theme from M*A*S*H meant. You know, one of those things people say, you don't know what it really means, but you nod knowingly since everyone else seems to know and it sounds so intellectual.
And you hope someday you will overhear someone explaining it to someone else and you can feel superior to them while learning something at the same time - true multitasking.

Recently I have been around some people who have been depressed and said things like "I just wish I could die and not be here" or something similar. And while I haven't had those kinds of thoughts, I've been depressed enough to know what they mean. Many people carry that thought through to it's conclusion. So what is so "painless" about suicide?

I think it is more about the release from pain. Most of our depressing thoughts bring pain. They are the normal result of the negative things that happen around everybody. They dwell longer and sometimes permanently around some of us, either because we choose to continue along those lines of thought or because of other, perhaps chemical reasons that interrupt normal thinking patterns. We don't recognize positive things around us. Pain, then the normalization of pain - acceptance of it as the status quo - grows. Suicidal thoughts bring the hope of release, much like people often see Christians as dreaming of heaven because it will bring reward, and suicide stops the pain. Maybe that is what is meant by painless.

Nihlism and its successor postmodernism have not given us a reason to live. Nihlism leads one to believe there is no point in being good or bad, doing or not doing. Nothing results from activity. Nothing is worth anything. If that is true, probably not existing is not a bad alternative to existing for no reason.

Postmodernism tries to convince us that we should do good anyway. Just because. If we are going to be here anyway, at least make it feel good to you. That must be worth something. But that still doesn't leave me with a "meaning of life," to use a Monty Python term.

Escaping just should not be the purpose of existence or nonexistence. Religions, Christian and many others, bring us to a purpose or obligation beyond ourselves. I'm here for someone else's purpose. To go with Christianity which I'm most familiar with, we were created (somehow) for His good pleasure, to show others there is purpose, and in the end to be one with Him (heaven or whatever that means.) This creates obligation. Not a negative to me because Christianity gives us the choice of fulfilling the obligation or not. My reading is that you make the choice, you fulfill or not, you are rewarded at some point or not.

The nice thing here is that by fulfilling the obligation - living in harmony with the principles and commands of Jesus, you also gain elements of peace by avoiding things that bring disharmony now. Not everything, but many things. Faithfulness in marriage (on both parts and with other things in play) brings contentment. Care for the body seems keeps you clear of many avoidable dysfunctions. Sharing, respecting others, paying attention to others and helping meet their needs brings purpose, reduces despair, and somehow seems to elevate the mood and bring happiness.

I don't get how that works. It is counterintuitive. If we just happen to be here and have thrived through survival of the fittest, why is there any reason to have happiness when you do something for someone else and there is no gain for you? I have to think there is something "built in" by the Designer to reward us for selflessness and altruistic behavior.

So I guess I don't have much of an answer for someone who is contemplating suicide that doesn't include either something selfish ("please don't, I'd be so sad!") or something dealing with their responsibility to their Creator. Maybe the release of suicide doesn't seem so bad.

Winner!

I was browsing Modern Healthcare just now. There, on the last page, was an advertisement with a familiar face. Harry. Real nice guy.

Many years ago I was a senior in college and waiting in a classroom for a new section of accounting to be opened. There were three of us. The teacher was supposed to show up and let us know if they would actually open that section.

There was me, and Harry, and a girl with sort of long blond hair sitting over there. We both began vying for her attention.

Maybe it was my good looks. Maybe it was my charming personality. Maybe it was because I was a senior and very sure of myself and they were both freshmen. I eventually won. I married her.

I'm not taking the ad home to show her. He looks pretty good. And quite successful. Probably very rich. Much like a winner.

But I was a winner then. I hope, in the mind of that cute blond girl, I still am.

Out of the Box

I was standing in line to check out at Office Depot and a kid in front of me was playing with something that was displayed on the counter. It was shaped a little like a cigar, had a face painted on it, had a fuzzy hairdo on the top, a clip on the side, and I don't know what else. I don't remember what it was even called. The kid asked his mom, "Can I have this?"

Mom started out with "No," then changed to "what is it?" He didn't know either - probably the subject of a future blogthought.

So I piped up with "It is used to clean the keyboard of your computer." Well, there was a thoughtful silence until they both seemed to accept that explanation. So I had to clarify and say "I don't really know. But it seems like it could be used for that."

In a little bit the mom said "I could use it to put in the soil of houseplants to make them more decorative." Kid thought a minute and said, "I think I could make people sneeze by rubbing it under their nose."

Suddenly possibilities opened up. If we knew what it was used for, we never would have explored. We don't think of using a pen for much more than writing. How many other "tools" with which to assult life do we have in our arsenals that we just don't think about because we have already decided what they are used for?

I remember my amazement once when I was young when my father took an empty milk carton, cut part of it off, and declared it a truck. It came in response to my complaint "I'm bored. I don't have anything to play with." Several other vehicles became apparent and I spent the afternoon in the sand making road, building parks, etc.

Creativity is an attitude, not a talent. Maybe we have tied up the attitude because we already "know" how to do things.